Digging Deeper


God this is tough. I can’t figure out why now.  Maybe I’m realizing how serious this really is.  Its not just about joking around. This is serious business. I feel like I have to be “on” for everyone and I just can’t be.  I’m sad.  My life as I knew it is gone. I think I am grieving. And not knowing what is next scares me.  God I really DO NOT want anything else.  I know in my heart that you will take care of me, but I feel overwhelmed.  Help me get through this.  Please give me strength, hold me while I cry. Let the tears flow. Help me to be less crabby to others.

Those words come directly from my journal shortly after my first chemo.  It was the place where I could speak directly to God.  I know He listened.

My faith and spiritual life have always been important to me.  Studying the Bible and learning more about God slowly became more and more important through the years.  When things became more than I could handle, knowing there was someone who was greater than me, gave me strength and comfort. 

In the middle of my months of chemo, I went to the play Wit.  It is the story of a woman who choses to go on her cancer journey without family or friends.  She refuses to have any relationship with God.  As I watched I cried for her.  She isolated herself.  She did not let those around her give her support. The play showed a woman in agony as she died.

These two contrasting points of view, demonstrate different directions that can be taken when approaching crisis.  Frequently those who have faith have spoken of the need for God in their lives.  They understand the need to have a greater power that will support and comfort them. At a time in their lives when they are drained of strength, hearing scripture and praying helped get them through the tough stuff.

Others, as the woman in Wit, choose to isolate themselves. She was unable to look outside herself and missed the support she might have received. 

So what do the studies show about the importance of a spiritual health?  We will delve into this topic in the next blog.

Question to Ponder

What role does spiritual health play in your life?